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8 Ways To Get Out of A Relationship Rut

by Rose Adams Published on 18 September 2008
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We've all been there: the honeymoon period is nothing but a distant memory, the boundaries have have been broken (inc. but not limited to gross toilet habits) and now everything just seems, well, all a bit too comfortable. But don't fret, the feeling of being in a relationship rut is perfectly normal and if your bond's meant to last, it's something you can both easily tackle together. Follow our top tips and the two of you will feel like you only met yesterday, promise.

Keeping the spark alive when you've been together a little while is no easy feat, it's only a matter of time before you realise you've slipped into the same-old routine routine, meaning all the initial excitement of the honeymoon period has been all but lost. But there's lots of little, simple things you can both do to keep the 'magic' alive and remind each other why you got together in the first place. Allow us to count the ways...

1. Book a weekend away

Organising a romantic weekend away will give you both a break from the everyday, mundane routine of life at home. Two days free of any worries is a sure-fire way to put the passion back into your relationship and allow you to spend some quality time together rather than just time. Devoting yourselves to each other for a whole weekend is a great chance to open up and communicate more.

2. Don't always plan every last detail

If you book the same summer holiday in the same hotel every year, frequent the same local cinema every week and spend every weekend traipsing up and down the aisles of the same-old supermarket, it's time to break the routine. If everything is always mapped out beforehand and you feel as if every week is the same, no wonder you're in a rut. Yes, routine builds a relationship but you also need some element of change if you're going to go the distance. Leave more room for spontaneity and you’ll have more freedom to give your relationship. Simples.

3. Try new activities together

If you want to get on better with your partner, try doing something neither of you have tried before together - like a new sport or outdoor activity or hobby. Sharing strong emotions can bring you closer together, so why not give that parachute jump you've always wanted to do a go and feel the fear together.

4. Be more imaginative in bed

It sounds obvious, but if things have gotten a little bland outside the bedroom, igniting some spice between the sheets will make you feel much closer to your bed buddy. Buy a sexy lingerie set, treat him to a strip-tease or have sex in adventurous places. Try changing the context rather than the position and vary your timing: there's nothing spontaneous about sex every Tuesday night, guys.

5. Pamper yourself

Setting aside some 'Me' time to go shopping with friends is super important to maintaining a happy relationship. Why not treat yourself to some beauty treatments, a massage or a spa session? If you take care of yourself, you’ll feel more relaxed and confident and this, in turn, will have a positive impact on your relationship.

6. Communicate

A relationship on the rocks is one without communication. This is the most important factor in a successful partnership. Make time to really communicate and listen to each other - over dinner at home or treat yourselves to a meal out at your favourite restaurant. Turn the TV off, enforce a no-phones rule and make a date of it. Setting aside regular time to talk about what's on your mind, what's worrying you and what you need and expect from each other will prevent you from starting to live like strangers.

7. Enjoy the simple things

The finer things in life are often the simple ones: a candlelit dinner, a spontaneous gift, a kiss on the neck or a back massage. These little signs of tenderness will make you feel closer and inject some fun into the daily routine. Why not wait for him outside the office once in a while and take him out for a drink? Being spontaneous and enjoying the simple pleasures in life will bring you closer together and take you back to your dating days when things were really exciting.

8. Spend time apart

Even if you live together, it doesn't mean have to do everything as a couple. Make sure you spend time separately doing the things you love, too. This works both ways so let him have football nights with his mates - you need to give each other some freedom or you'll feel suffocated - while you have a night in or out with the girls. There's truth in the old saying 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder', you know. After that spa week with your friends you'll find you actually missed him and your desire is ten times stronger - promise.

We wanna hear your top tips for keeping things fun in your relationship, let us know @SofeminineUK

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by Rose Adams 52 shares

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