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Hilarious or heart-breaking: The top 10 ridiculous reasons for UK break ups

by Maria Bell Published on 26 September 2013

We’ve all been in a relationship where you’re just looking for a reason to break up with your partner. But some of us might be a little more cut throat than others when giving their other half the chop. A recent survey which asked men and women to be frank about their reasons for ditching their exes has revealed that the old ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ line has gone way out the window.

More than 1,900 guys and girls from around the UK took part in the survey by Fickletattoos.com – all over 18 so you can’t even blame teenage immaturity for these shocking excuses – to give honest answers about why they ended it with their exes.

If we're honest we've got to that point in a bad relationship where everything your partner does starts to irritate the hell out of you. But reasons like a pervy Nan, annoying pronunciation and creepy fingernails have got to be scraping the barrel. On second thoughts, we’ll give you the fingernails excuse, that’s just gross.

Supposedly 61% of those asked said that they’d not been totally honest with their partner about the reason for wanting to end things and with reasons like these we can see why!

David Wain-Heapy, founder of fickletattoos.com said: "Some of the reasons uncovered by our poll were fickle to say the least. I'd like to think that the reasons are maybe the catalyst rather than the root cause; otherwise I may have to reassess my faith in human kind! In some of the instances cited, you have to think the partner probably had a lucky escape."

So here’s the top 10 results from the survey - just try not to overthink it too much.

Top 10 excuses for boys breaking up with girls:

  • 1. 'She had too many sex toys, which was a bit intimidating to be honest.'
  • 2. 'She repeatedly ignored requests to leave the toilet lid up, which affected my ease of use.'
  • 3. 'Her nan kept giving me the eye, and it creeped me out.'
  • 4. 'I faced the embarrassment of playing in a dirty kit when it wasn't washed in time for the weekend.'
  • 5. 'My mates told me she was ugly all the time and I couldn't take the banter.'
  • 6. 'My girlfriend claimed to be a fan of Dostoyevsky but she couldn't name Raskolnikov's sister in Crime and Punishment so I felt she was a fraud.'
  • 7. 'She told me she'd seen Blink 182 in Hull, but they haven't even played there so if she lies about that, I don't think she's trustworthy.'
  • 8. 'I couldn't take her beating me on the Xbox all the time and I finally lost it.'
  • 9. 'Her cooking isn't as good as my mum's and I didn’t think it was going to improve.'
  • 10. 'My girlfriend refused to pick me up after a night out so I had to pay £15 for a taxi, which was a complete waste of money.'

Top 10 excuses for girls breaking up with boys:

  • 1. 'The way he pronounced certain words really wound me up'.
  • 2. 'He wore an aftershave that I hated so I finished with him.'
  • 3. 'He never flushed the loo so he had to go.'
  • 4. 'He didn't cut his finger nails often enough which made me feel physically ill.'
  • 5. 'His constant heavy breathing just got too annoying'.
  • 6. 'I really couldn't stand his choice of daily paper, which went against all my political views.'
  • 7. 'He was too close to his mother, which I found odd.'
  • 8. 'He preferred Coronation Street, but I'm an Eastenders fan and it led to friction between us.'
  • 9. 'He was too clean for my liking and had to shower up to twice a day.'
  • 10. 'My boyfriend refused to put the heating on when it was cold, instead telling me to wear a jumper, whichwas just tight.'

What's the most ridiculous reason you've broken up with someone for? Tweet us at @sofeminineuk, we really want to know.

by Maria Bell

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