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The 10 Harsh Realities Only People In Long-term Relationships Know

Vivian KELLY
by Vivian KELLY Published on 17 February 2015
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Sometimes we get our realities messed up with our dreams - this is especially in long-term relationships. We always think 'this should be like that' or 'he should be doing this', but the reality is, there's no book or bible when it comes to true love. Ladies, it's time to come to terms with your relationship. Here are 10 relationship expectations that we've all come to accept...

Nothing's logical, nothing makes sense, n o t h i n g is perfect. That's what makes love so special. So even if he drives you up the wall and you make him want to pull his hair out, none of that matters, because that's what love's all about...

1. His man banter never goes

If you're a sensitive soul, you'll know what I mean. As time goes by in your relationship your man will more than likely be more inclined to crack border line insulting jokes with you.

And we get it, sometimes they are plain rude, I mean we'd never tell our GF's they look like Gollum after a night out, but remember guys find this sh*t funny, and seriously do you actually think he'd be dating you if you really looked like a hobbit? When you take something to heart and suck the fun out of the relationship there isn't a lot to look forward to, bounce back jokes with him and make an effort to join in on his man banter. That's what we do.

2. Romance is sometimes dead

I’m not saying that your relationship will never be romantic again, but it’s common sense that all those Romeo and Juliet moves he made six months ago aren't going to come by as often anymore.

By all means, expect his attention, but don’t expect grand gestures to be an everyday or even weekly thing. Life takes over sometimes and even though he loves you to bits, relationships don't play out like our fave rom-coms do.

Instead, look forward to those special moments when you're excited to see him after work and want to tell him everything about your day or when he can't think of anything better than a night in with you on the sofa, legs up and a Chinese take out. Those are the joys you should be counting.

3. Sometimes he won't be sexy to you

When you commit to a long term relationship you not only make a commitment to him, but to his farts and burps too.

It’s not necessarily attractive, but hey, it can sometimes be funny. Enjoy being big kids together. Being in love is all about laughing, having a good time and being yourself. If you find it disgusting and make demands for him to 'not do it in front of you' then you’re simply not ready for this kind of commitment. Simple as ladies.

4. Being rational isn't always the key to relationship success

All those brief moments of doubt that you get (and they will come) - they don't always have to be spoken about or even acted upon. Don't poison your relationship with your own insecurities to protect yourself.

Love can be a scary thing, I mean, who knows, you may be with this person for the rest of your life! The thought can be nerve wracking, but it's MEANT to make you feel vulnerable, it's meant to make you feel anxious sometimes. The bottom line is, as long as you're happy and don't doubt for a second that you care for this person, what else do you need, really? Love doesn't make sense and neither should your thoughts. Send them on their way...

5. You NEED to make sacrifices

Whether he’s busy with work and you have to spend some time apart or he’s going through a hard time and really needs you to be there for him, sometimes a relationship requires a lot of selfless sacrifices.

For whatever the reason, you might have to distance yourself from family, friends or even him for a while, but as long as you give the relationship what it needs then you’ll both be more happy for it in the end. Remember this rule.

6. Weddings and baby talk are bound to come up

Yeah-huh, be ready for it. Whether you're broody or NO WHERE near ready yet, just expect that whoever you're with in a long term relationship is bound to make references about your future together.

No matter how many goose bumps you get when you hear the word 'baby' or 'marriage', don't shy away from the idea. Go with it, live in the moment and stop interrogating yourself about it. You're in this for a reason, right? Nervousness is a good thing.

7. The Open Door Policy is a real thing

Some people can be pretty shy about poo talk, but trust me, after so many months of dating and hanging out I doubt either of you are going to want to keep pretending. Poopy flowers don't exist.

Talking about 'number 2' in relationships is actually really important and means you've reached a whole new comfort level! Sound ridiculous? Yeah, but we're proud of it.

8. There's no need to be 'picture perfect'

Ladies, we all know how hard it is trying to make sure you look smoking hot (or at least half decent) all the time for your man, but in a long term relationship looking good isn’t a priority anymore.

​Stop worrying about what he might think or how bad you 'apparently' look, this is natural, beautiful, YOU and if he doesn’t agree then he simply doesn't deserve you. Instead, focus on how lucky you both are to have so much love for someone who can wake up scruffed up, swollen faced, smelly and can still turn you on for morning sex.

9. He definitely WILL drive you crazy

All relationships have their ups and downs. For those people who freak out about one little row and think, ‘I don’t think we’re compatible’, get this straight...

Successful, long term relationships all go through good times and bad times. There'll 100 percent be times when you’ll want to pull his hair out, but at the end of the day the jerk you’re wishing so badly to punch is someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, right? Remember, bickering in moderation is healthy.

10. You’ll LOVE them like no other

Being in a long term relationship and putting up with all the above requires REAL love, so one thing that I have to say (and can guarantee) is that in a long term relationship you’re both in it, not because he puts up with your crap or thinks you're too fit to lose, it’s because in the simplest form, you both love each other and this is WHY and HOW love conquers all. Be grateful for your man. We know we are...

What other relationship expectations do you think we should have? Tweet us @sofeminineUK!

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by Vivian KELLY

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