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Why This Is The Only Way Women Should Respond To A Fat-Shaming Tinder Date

Lareese Craig
by Lareese Craig Published on 9 July 2015

The perfectly average Tinder date. We've all been there. The type where you have an evening of pleasantries but nothing that'll make you give up Netflix anytime soon. But imagine if you then got a follow up message explaining the reason why you won't be so lucky to go on a second date with the douche is because you're too fat to love... Some of us would curl up in a ball for a fortnight but this woman had bigger ideas.

A woman whose Tinder date told her, 'I am hugely turned on by your mind, your face, your personality…I can’t say the same about your figure' has written the BEST public riposte.

In an open letter on her blog, Michelle Thomas, 30, absolutely shut down her truly average Tinder date by explaining exactly why she's the one that got away.

This is the message she received - it's probably best to have something you can throw at a wall to hand, particularly when he mentions his flaccid penis.

"So whilst I am hugely turned on by your mind, your face, your personality (and God...I really, really am), I can't say the same about your figure.

"So I can sit there and flirt and have the most incredibly fun evening, but I have this awful feeling that when we got undressed my body would let me down. I don't want that to happen baby. I don't want to be lying there next to you, and you asking me why I'm not hard."

"We could be amazing friends, we could flirt and joke and adore each other and... f*** me...I would marry you like a shot if you were a slip of a girl."

As if it's not vom-worthy enough that he calls her baby, he then begs for forgiveness too: "Please try and forgive me. I adore you." Seriously Si?

Initially, Michelle admits his brutal message got to her and she found herself 'in floods of tears' before mustering up enough courage to reply. And what a kickass reply it was.

She felt the need to respond publicly, not only to hold her own but because her date has a 13-year-old daughter - she wants him to build her self esteem rather than destroy it. Teaching him how to be a man, we couldn't love this woman anymore if we tried.

Ok, so here's what she put to him!

"You don't have to fancy me," Michelle, who describes herself as a Welsh feminist and writer, says. "We all have a good friend who we look at ruefully and think 'you're lovely, but you just don't tickle my pickle' but the forensic detail in which you express your disgust at my body is truly grotesque.

"The only possible objective for writing it is to wound me. And I'm ashamed to say, for a few moments, it worked. You stirred a dormant fear that every woman who was ever a teenage girl has – that it doesn't matter how funny you are, how clever, how kind, how passionate, how loyal, how determined or adventurous or vibrant – if you're a stone overweight, no one will ever find you desirable."

"I like the way I look," Michelle continues. "I don't look like Charlize Theron, and that's fine - I look like me, and I like myself. I showed your message to friends who expressed shock, horror, embarrassment on your behalf, and a desire to cause you actual physical harm.

"One male friend told me I have a lovely bottom 'if unmarriageable'. I laughed with them. "Then I cried in my Slimming World group. That's right! Slimming World! You see, I already KNOW that I'm overweight. I can tell you exactly how overweight I am – 20 pounds. I've already lost 15, and I've a stone and a half to go. I'm happy with that. I will get rid of it, safely and healthily. Does that mean that I can't love and enjoy my body now? F*** no."

Michelle ends, "What truly concerns me, the real reason I'm responding so publicly, is the fact that you have a 13 year old daughter...I want you to encourage your daughter to love, enjoy, and care for her body...Give her the tools to develop a bomb-proof sense of self-esteem so that if the time comes that a small, unhappy man attempts to corrode it, she can respond as I do now."

As for the sign off, there's just one last word from Michelle: ​"Kiss. My. Exquisitely. Unmarriagable. Arse."

We couldn't have put it better ourselves!

LOVE Michelle's response to body-shaming? Tweet us @sofeminineUK

This article was written by Lareese Craig. Follow her for more fashion, beauty and lifestyle news @LareeseCraig!

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